Please note that this story originated in 2005. I now feel that the term diversity/inclusion is a more acceptable way to celebrate our unique characteristics.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, the father of inspiration, once said "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
After sharing an incredible experience with my daughter (eight at the time) in Ft. Lauderdale in June 2005, I became an advocate of and filed legislation for the importance of diversity, race relations and tolerance.
Now the word tolerance is often misunderstood and confused with tolerate. Tolerance is defined as: a fair (free from bias or dishonesty) and permissive attitude toward those whose race, religion, beliefs etc. differ from one’s own.
Tolerate is defined as: to allow w/o hindrance or permit, to put up with. There is a clear difference between these two words. Tolerance indicates acceptance and respect.
I became much more aware of diversity and tolerance that Saturday afternoon when my eight year old daughter found herself as the only white child, along with her five year old sister, in the middle of an African American family reunion (about 75 others) at the Ft. Lauderdale Sheraton pool.
For the first time in her life she experienced what it was like to be a minority. It's not something a suburban white child from the Boston area is used to, or even thinks of for that matter. That afternoon had such a profound impact on me that it triggered the beginning of an amazing journey.
She told me that she didn't feel comfortable and wanted to go back to the room. So I took her inside the hotel and sat down with her and asked if it was because everyone else at the pool was black. Like a typical eight year old, she shrugged her shoulders and didn't answer, but I knew what she was thinking. I told her that it was ok if she felt a little uncomfortable because she had never been in a situation like this before.
I reminded her of two of the only black children in her school. This is what their life was like every day. I explained to her how happy everyone at the pool must be, seeing cousins and family members from all over the country, many of whom they've never met before. (I later learned that over 200 family members gathered that weekend.) It just so happens that this family had a different skin color. That was the only difference as we’re all the same. (She subsequently told me that people were staring at her). I hugged her, kissed her on the forehead and told her that I loved her very much and that God created many different kinds of people.
Just because their skin color was different than ours that doesn't matter. Good and bad people come in all colors. At that point we went back to the pool and she did what every other eight year old did. She splashed, swam and had a ball for about two more hours and I had to literally drag her out of there.
Also, during the afternoon, I befriended a little boy. From what I could gather, his grandmother was supposed to be watching him but she was caught up in all of the excitement with her family and she really wasn't paying too much attention. So I played with him and kept an eye on him and ended up grabbing his arm a couple of times as he let go of the side of the pool he was making his way around.
As fate would have it, we ended up on the same elevator back to our rooms and as we went our separate ways, he yelled down the hall to me and said he would see me by the pool tomorrow. I told him that unfortunately we had to leave in the morning. He then put up his little hand, waved and said "bye friend". I did the same in return. Chills literally went up and down my spine. I was moved beyond belief after that exchange and with what I experienced with my daughter a few hours earlier. It's something she couldn't experience or learn in years of school in Stoneham, maybe ever. And it was something that I could not stop thinking about.
We can learn so much from the innocence of children. How my daughter handled everything that afternoon was one of the proudest moments of my life and it opened our eyes to something we don’t see or think about often as white people. This time the shoe was on the other foot. And the footsteps left behind that day were beautiful ones of black and white. It made us think of tolerance.
The events of that afternoon brought me back to my childhood growing up in Everett, MA (5 miles north of Boston) in the 70’s and 80’s, which was very similar to Stoneham in 2005. It was almost all white and race relations wasn't something that I thought much of as a kid.
However, there were two things surrounding race relations that were very powerful to me as a kid. The first thing was the TV show "Roots", and the second was Boston Celtic Legend Bill Russell, whom is considered the greatest winner in the history of team sports after winning 11 championships in 13 years during the 50's and 60's.
Unfortunately, Mr. Russell was subject to unspeakable discrimination and racism during his time in Boston and Reading. As a young boy and avid Celtic fan I was deeply saddened and confused to learn that he was so disrespected because of his skin color. It's something that bothered me all my life. Now as an adult, I finally had an opportunity to do my small part in trying to right a previous wrong.
A few weeks after our vacation while attending an insurance seminar in Framingham, I jumped on Route 9 to find a place to have lunch and noticed a sign that read "Ted Williams Highway". I was unaware of this and since I've been a lifelong Celtic's fan, my immediate thought was "Russell deserves something". Then it hit me, what about Route 6, down the Cape, "The Bill Russell Highway" to recognize the importance of race relations and tolerance as he wore no. 6 for the Celtics in the 50's & 60's.
On December 30, 2005, I decided that I wasn't going to leave the year without actually doing something about this so I wrote to my State Rep. Paul Casey, State Senator Richard Tisei and Governor Mitt Romney.
My wish was to have this done on 06/06/06 (As it turns out June 6th is also D-Day and the day RFK was assassinated. A very powerful day.) to honor one of this generations greatest leaders, the greatest team player in the history of sports and one of Boston's most underappreciated men who is an aggressive advocate for civil rights, equality, diversity and tolerance.
Mr. Russell is a member of the Board of Directors of the National Mentoring Partnership whose mission is "To lead the national movement to connect America's young people with caring adult mentors. Fulfilling such an important mission requires leaders of creativity, enthusiasm and integrity: men and women with vision and commitment." (As a former big brother for seven years, that provided another connection to Mr. Russell.)
Rep. Casey informed me that he also respected Mr. Russell and supported my idea and said he would look into filing legislation.
Shortly thereafter Gov. Romney's Office of Transportation notified me that in 1937 Route 6 was named “Grand Army of the Republic Highway” after a group of Civil War Veterans. I could have filed legislation for dual designation but didn't want to take away from a veterans group, so I had to think of something else.
While this changed the scope of things, it didn't lessen its importance. Since my daughter lived in Stoneham, near Route 28 and Mr. Russell actually lived on Route 28 in neighboring Reading, I contacted Rep. Casey again and asked him to redesignate Route 28 (known as the Northern Artery) as "Tolerance Road" to teach children about tolerance over ignorance.
Legislation was officially filed and for two consecutive years (2006 & 2007) I pulled my daughter out of school and we testified together at the State House in front of the Joint Committee of Transportation, which is comprised of state representatives and senators, as to the importance of why we wanted this done.
It also led me to write to the Commission of Education in MA and request that tolerance be made a mandatory part of the education curriculum.
Sadly and unfortunately, neither issue was approved but it provided one of the most amazing learning experiences and made me realize that it was something I had to pursue the rest of my life. I will share further details about the experience dealing with the Town of Reading, Stoneham and the State House and the wonderful world of politics at a later date.
One thing that I certainly learned was that different people have different opinions. Most people were moved by my story while others could care less. Some looked at me funny and a couple, anonymously via email, offered hateful remarks. I guess I was learning what discrimination looked and felt like. And I have to be honest with you I didn't like it.
I also learned that you can't please everyone. One afternoon I had called up a local black radio station and shared my story, when a subsequent caller said that my actions were simply symbolic and really didn't mean anything. Well I thought that was foolish since all symbols mean and stand for something and have a story behind them.
But it certainly made me think!
I had a much better radio experience as an in studio guest on the Lovell Dyett Show on WBZ 1030 AM Radio on April 28th, 2007. Lovell was kind enough to invite me on his show for one hour after I called one night and shared my story with him the previous year.
He was very intrigued and asked me to stay on hold after the call. He said he would like to be kept in the loop and would consider having me in as a guest one day. So he asked me to contact his producer Karen Buscemi and keep her updated. I did that for several months and lo and behold I'm on a talk show that reaches 28 states. It was a great platform to share my experience and to take calls from
people around the eastern part of the country as well as here in Boston.
I will always be grateful to Lovell for giving me that opportunity.
More Pie
As you know actions speak louder than words and apparently symbols, so I'd like to briefly share another small slice of pie with you. When my daughter was in kindergarten I started taking a group of children and parents from her school to a Celtics game. What first started as a group of 20 has now grown to over 250. Since our group is so large the Celtics allow 20 kids to "play on the parquet" before the game.
A few years ago I realized this presented a wonderful opportunity and I now use this as my own mini diversity event and put aside five spots for children of color, including a couple from area homeless shelters to give these children an opportunity they would not otherwise have, and to provide some diversity to the children of Stoneham since Stoneham is 95% white and my daughter's school only has a few families of color.
This also serves as my own little personal tribute to Mr. Russell, who is truly a special man and someone who inspired me at a young age.
I had the honor and privilege of meeting Mr. Russell on two occasions and briefly shared with him my efforts and told him something good actually came out of his struggles. He was very appreciative and told me "through giving we receive strength."
I truly believe that progress is the residue of previous setbacks and I know that Mr. Russell continues to be strong and continues to give.
We must learn from history, embrace the present and prepare for the future. To that end Mayor Thomas M. Menino recently joined members of the Bill Russell Legacy Committee and the Boston Celtics Shamrock Foundation to announce that Boston City Hall Plaza has been chosen as the site for the Bill Russell Statue next spring!
A Different Piece of Pie
Another thing I hope to accomplish one day is to bring Border Crossers to Boston. Border Crossers brings together young students from diverse New York City neighborhoods to explore issues of inequality, discrimination, and social justice. Through school-based programs and community building initiatives, students develop the leadership skills to take action for lasting social change in their classroom, school and community.
Several years ago I took a couple of days off and went to NY and sat in on the program. Sachi Ferris, the founder, has offered to bring the program to Boston if I can get the proper funding.
This was all new to me, so I was very pleased to discover others who shared my feelings. What I didn't realize is that they had been doing these things all their lives. This led me to meeting Colette Phillips, who founded Get Konnected - Boston's Multicultural Networking Group. When I shared my story with Colette, she asked me to serve on her Advisory Committee.
Colette is one of Boston's shining stars and I'm proud and fortunate to call her a friend!
Final piece of pie.
Our world is much different than the one I grew up in. We now have a President who happens to be black (as opposed to a black President), incredible tecnology that makes the world much smaller, America is a target of terrorism and is engaged in multiple wars, and our country also has extensive illegal immigration issues. Couple this with a struggling world economy and our resources are being significantly drained. All of this is a potential powder keg.
Racism and discrimination are never going away but that doesn't mean we can’t continue to make progress. The improvement needs to come by way of education. It is my belief that if the teaching of tolerance is made a mandatory part of the MA (and country) educational curriculum things will improve significantly over future years and decades. And yes it will take that long. Today’s ever changing society desperately needs more tolerance and children need to be made aware of this at a very early age.
Imagine how easy things would be if we looked at things like fractions. Having a numerator and a denominator.
African/American, Asian/American, Canadian/American, Indian/American, Irish/American, Italian/American, Latino American, Native/American, Jewish/American, Muslim/American, LGBT/American, etc. You get my drift.
We all have a common denominator!
So how often do you think of diversity and tolerance? Hopefully, this raised your awareness. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Let us not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around us in awareness."
Hope you enjoyed the PIE!
Feel free to post your comments and share your own personal stories.
Thanks,
Bob
Please check out my other posts.
