Just like cancer or diabetes, depression doesn’t discriminate. It effects the young and the old, the rich and the poor, men and women of all races, religions, ethnicities and sexual orientations. However, unlike the other two illnesses, depression comes with a major stigma because it is mental. If you suffer from mental illness like I do, you get labeled. So it is important to inform, educate and discuss.
Historical and famous figures including Abraham Lincoln, Sigmund Freud, Princess Diana, Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway and even Buddha struggled with depression. Some of our contemporaries include Cheryl Crow, Tipper Gore, Janet Jackson, Earl Campbell, Billy Joel, Catherine Zeta Jones, Greg Louganis, Rosie O’Donnell, Marie Osmond, J.K. Rowling, Darryl Strawberry, John Claude Van Damme to name a few admit to battling depression.
I've struggled with depression, anxiety and ADD my entire life but nothing prepared me for what I went through last year. After being downsized and failing to raise the necessary funds for a non profit I had been working on for two years I started to spiral downward just like the plane you see in the movies and I crashed and burned.
My unemployment ran out and the money I borrowed from my retirement account was dwindling and I completely lost my confidence and had a nervous breakdown. Coupled with the depression and anxiety I shut out the world. I was lost and it didn’t just impact me but those who loved me. We all felt helpless.
The worst part occurred between November and February (I watched the SuperBowl in bed without emotion) when I stopped eating, caring and didn’t know what was going to happen. There were times when I would stay in bed for a week and not even know what day it was. I distinctly remember being forced to go to my daughter’s basketball game by my father and after the game was over she came up to me and gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was to see me. She then said she was going out with her some of teammates and I said to her “don’t you need to go home and do your homework for tomorrow” and she looked at me puzzled and said, “dad, it’s Friday”. I honestly didn’t know.
Thankfully I’m blessed to be surrounded by amazing, caring and loving people who weren’t going to let go. My parents, daughters and sisters and several friends along with my therapist and doctor did everything they could to ensure that I did what I had to, to get healthy which I eventually did.
Medication, therapy and making life changes can ensure a normal, healthy and productive life. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, it’s doesn’t mean that you won’t find challenges and struggles but everyone does.
Unfortunately there are too many people with mental illness that do horrific things such as mass shootings which sets all of us back. Just because you’re mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re a threat to society. You are however a threat to yourself and that is why it is so important to get help.
Those of us who have depression often feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it. We feel like we’re damaged goods and people are going to look at us differently. We can feel weak. That is when you need to find the inner strength to step forward to take action. Talk to someone in your life and go see your doctor. It is irresponsible and foolish to not take action when the opportunity to get better is available
I remember many years ago talking with a therapist at St. Elizabeth’s who told me not to get mad at myself but get mad at my depression. It’s not your fault that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain.
It can be hard work at times, by we all deserve to be happy and enjoy life like everyone else and you can. It’s up to all of us to help each other. If you sense someone is depressed don’t be afraid to approach them in a respectful and loving way and tell them you care about them and suggest they contact their doctor. Since October is National Depression Month screening is widely available.
Remember depression doesn’t just impact the individual but also those around them. It can end relationships, result in job losses and suck the quality of life right out of you, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you have a setback you have to pick yourself up and do what is necessary and get back on that horse. You have to understand it will take time. It’s a process of trial and error. Doctors don’t know which medications will work. I’ve probably tried close to 20 antidepressants in my life. Some worked for a while and many didn’t. Some had lousy side effects.
Alcoholics in recovery understand that they have to live one day at a time. People with depression should take the same approach and do what is necessary. For me, hot yoga has become my panacea. I go three times a week and it has changed my life. For me it helps not only physically, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
As I look back in the one year mirror I’m so grateful for the love and support I received from so many wonderful people. They know it wasn’t deliberate. I was sick and they stood by me. Thank you isn’t enough.
If you know someone who is struggling consider it a gift to offer your help. You not only can alter the quality of their life, you could possibly help save it. Don’t be afraid to speak up. We all need guidance in our lives. Nothing will change unless you take action. Let the action start now. I certainly don’t have all of the answers but am here to speak with anyone who is struggling or knows some who is. Helping others is the greatest gift. Please feel free to share this with others.
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